when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn
*purposely drop something in front of my crush*
"Free Shipping and 25% off"
”..on all orders of $200 or more”
I can’t believe Jesus hatched from an Easter egg 2000 years ago
Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?